Season 2, Episode 3, Storyline B – “Hitchhike”
Original Airdate: September 24, 1977
This week it’s about approaching dogs properly.
Wonder Woman swings down from her lasso and tells two 1970s children to always let a dog sniff your hand first before you pet him. Of course, if that dog’s owner was anywhere to be found, perhaps Wonder Woman wouldn’t have to spend her time lying in wait in a tree for children and a dog to meet up in the exact right spot.
Short Synopsis: The name of this segment is “Hitchhike,” and it stars the Wonder Twins. But, we all already know they aren’t going to end up in pieces scattered down Route 66, so I’m already disappointed.
“A busy intersection of Central City, where an unsuspecting young girl is about to take a very unpleasant ride.” – Narrator
Jody and Beth are waiting for the bus to take them to the beach (the same way Aquaman gets to the beach). Jody says they should skip the bus, hitchhike and “save the fare for the jukebox.”
Beth, the big square who doesn’t want to be sold as a sex slave, opts for the bus. Jody decides to hitchhike, and what could go wrong? She assures Beth that she “never accepts rides from creeps.” She tells Beth she’ll meet her at “the beach entrance.” What beach are they going to that has a single entrance and a jukebox in the sand?
Jody, you don’t know what “I don’t accept rides from creeps” means, do you?
Within 2 seconds of sticking out her thumb, this guy, who totally doesn’t look in any way like a creep, pulls up and asks her where she’s headed.
She gets in his car without any hesitation. That Jody thought she had a good head on her shoulders, until it ended up in a bowling bag in that guy’s trunk. I’m just kidding, he didn’t decapitate her, this is a Saturday morning children’s show.
“Later, at the beach.” – Narrator
Jody’s ride does take her all the way to the beach, right up to the entrance, where Beth responsibly awaits.
Beth notices Jody in the car of the non-creep, who has told Jody that she won’t be going to the beach today. Beth uses the nearby pay phone to call for help. So, Beth would have had more money for the jukebox, but Jody screwed her over.
Y’all, I hate the Wonder Twins. I can’t stand their stupid purple uniforms and Jayna’s dumb soft serve hairdo and Zan’s crappy water transformations. I hate:
The problem I have with the Wonder Twins is that, unlike The Justice League characters, they don’t have a rich history of heroism to ruin so I can laugh at it. No, they sprung forth fully formed and sucking, so that takes a lot of the fun out of it for me.
But once Jody’s on that beach, “Undercover Angel” blasting from the Jukebox, it’ll all be worth it.
The perfect gentleman slows down due to a winding road, and Jody takes advantage, tossing herself out of the moving vehicle.
Perfect Gentleman chases her down.
Then, Jody assures everyone she’s learned her lesson about hitchhiking, and Gleek is chased by a seagull.
De-Coder Part 1
Superman shows up at a place giving away free hot air
balloon baloon rides. Wait a second, didn’t we JUST learn that free rides only lead to being chased down by a dirty creep? Now I’m completely confused. And, I would think that you should never, ever accept a free balloon ride if the person offering it can’t spell “balloon” correctly.
The clue is “the price of the hot air baloon rides.” Oh, wow. Ok. Let me think.Oh, geez. I’m just glad I have a whole week to think about it.
If you would like to see these shenanigans for yourself, Season 2 is available on DVD.