Super Friends Season 2, Episode 8, Storyline D – “River of Doom”
Original Airdate – October 22, 1977
Short Synopsis: Did you miss it? I didn’t do one last week because
I’m lazy family time is so important during Thanksgiving. So we’re back in the saddle this week for another terrible adventure with a bunch of super losers.
Oh, yes! It’s LADIES NIGHT!
More like River of Va-Va-Va-Voom! (I’m sorry).
“The Amazon Jungle, a green cloak that hides incrrrredible dangers, where three geologists search for valuable mineral deposits vital to the future development of Brazil.” – Narrator
One of the geologists finds this:
And you know, as soon as you see something like that, in a story set in the Amazon, that all cultural sensitivity has flown out the window.
“It’s a burial necklace. This must be sacred Jivaro burial ground!” – Lady Geologist
“The Jivaro are head hunters! We are in great danger!” – Dude Geologist #1
Let’s go ahead and get this out of the way: if you would like to learn more about Jivaro peoples/history, do not refer to this Super Friends episode, for that would be silly. Go here, here, or here. Moving on…
The good: the geologists immediately recognize their mistake, re-bury the necklace, and try to put everything back the way it was.
Yeah. The Jivaro throw a net over the three geologists and kidnap them.
Later, at the Hall of Justice
Some dude in a suit tells the Super Friends he’s worried about the geologists.
Rima is there – remember Rima? She is of the jungle and can talk to animals. Now you’re all caught up.
She explains to everyone that the Jivaro are normally peaceful people, “but if they are angered, there’s no telling what they could do.” Way to try and soften the blow, Rima.
Even more later, back in the jungle
The Jivaro have the geologists sequestered in a hut, and they drew them a picture of how they’re going to punish them:
The geologists also mention piranhas but I don’t think the Jivaro drew any. Ok, fine, here, I drew you a piranha:
He’s wearing a top hat because he has a charity ball he’s attending later in the evening. They aren’t always eating an entire horse in 30 second flat, they have other interests! His name is Paulie and he has a wife (Jasmine) and four kids (Scooter, Brian, Flannigan, and Charade). He’s never met Aquaman but he’s heard some things.
Rima and Wonder Woman land in the jungle, and Rima does her
Tarzan Rima Call to get the local animals to look for the geologists.
They find the Jivaros and the geologists freshly tied to a log. “We have to lure the Jivaros away from the log,” strategizes Rima. So, she says she’s going to “cover them with a dust screen,” and then she does this:
“Wonder Woman, hurry! The Jivaros have released the log!”
You know who else released a log? The writers.
Follow That Log
As the log rushes down the river, Wonder Woman pursues it in a canoe, followed by the Jivaro pursuing Wonder Woman. In order to slow down the Jivaro, Rima summons the Olympic gold metal Synchronized Alligatoring pair to help out.
You can see why they won the gold. This was before steroids and judge bribery took over the sport.
Wonder Woman saves the geologists, and then everyone gathers around in a perfect union of understanding and helpfulness. The Jivaros now understand the geologists didn’t mean to desecrate their specific grounds – just the area around them, and all is well.
A young man walks down a deserted road. Superman shows up out of nowhere and asks him what he’s doing there.
Superman tells him that he’s right “not to get involved in the drug scene, nobody with any sense will have any part of it.” Superman just admitted to doing drugs.
If you would like to see these shenanigans for yourself, Season 2 is available on DVD.