She’s my pumpkin pie, warm boat of gravy such a sweet suprise-I got you a Thanksgiving card!

I found myself in the drugstore’s greeting card section yet again last week.

This time, the Halloween cards (which I really don’t see the point of) had been replaced with Thanksgiving cards. I don’t know why, but this seems even sillier than Halloween cards to me. And, as usual, there were categories which had wrong descriptions and cards. I have made the necessary corrections:

Because eating until you have to unbutton your pants naturally leads to doin' it.

I would like to preface the next two with the following fact: I work in dog rescue. I buy my dogs Christmas presents. We make up songs about our dogs and sing them to our dogs (“Your own, personal, Jenkins. Someone to give belly rubs, someone to snug….reach out and kiss face”). I even “understand” a birthday card from a dog (cats don’t give a shit). So when I say that there is a problem if you feel you need to buy or receive a Thanksgiving card from your pet, that means there’s a problem.


 

10 thoughts on “She’s my pumpkin pie, warm boat of gravy such a sweet suprise-I got you a Thanksgiving card!

  1. Fantastic. You are inspiring. You know if a dog could send a card it would really only say, “pant pant pant pet me pet me pet me love me love me love me SQUIRREL? give me a treat give me a treat pant pant pant.” The cat one would just say, “Fuck you. I own your ass. Get me some damn milk, servant.”

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