More Facts and Tidbits about 1980s Songs I Made Up

“Pump up the Jam” was inspired by PB&J sandwich with not enough jelly on it. The follow-up, “Pump up the Ham,” in response to a ham and cheese sandwich, was not as popular.

Lipps, Inc., who had the smash song “Funkytown,” wanted to spell their band name with three p’s, but it was decided that two was the better way to misspell “lips.”

Kool & the Gang’s “Celebration” states that “We’re gonna celebrate your party with you.” While this sounds like supportive fun, it was actually a separate party, celebrating the original party, on the lawn of the original party’s location house. It was really confusing. And rude.

“Morning Train (Nine to Five)” by Sheila Easton is actually a highly inappropriate song about child labor. Seriously, I can’t believe it hit number one and that nobody went to jail.

My baby takes the morning train.

Joan Jett was kicked out of countless bars because she kept telling people to put dimes into jukeboxes that only accepted quarters.

“Chariots of Fire” has lyrics. “They run and they run, and, they run and they run. They run and they run, and, they run and they run. They run and they run, they run, they run! They run and they run! They run and they run, they run, they run! They run and they run.”

Amazingly, with all of those candles in the video for “Wrapped Around Your Finger,” Sting walked away unscathed but then later burned his mouth on a Hot Pocket.

When doves cry, they sound nothing like Prince’s song or any sounds in that song. They sound more like “Batdance,” which is why everyone hates it when doves cry.

20 thoughts on “More Facts and Tidbits about 1980s Songs I Made Up

  1. When Duran Duran was originally naming the band they wanted to just call the band Duran, after a friend of theirs named Duran. But Duran happened to have memory issues, so every time Duran saw the band he would ask again what their name was in which they would be respond “WE ALREADY TOLD YOU, IT’S DURAN, DURAN!” which was overheard by the A&R guy of their first record deal who then told the label they were called Duran Duran. Fact Fact.

  2. That Top Gun song also had words: “He flies, he flies, he flies, he flies, he flies, he volleyballs, he drives, he dies, he flies, he flies, he flies.”

    Now you know why you’ve never heard the words.

  3. Have you ever read the lyrics to Electric Avenue by Eddy GRant? Its a protest song about kids dying in the streets. very depressing.

    Yesterday on the facebooks one of my high school friends put as his status “there’s a little black spot on the sun today” – the opening line from The Police’s King of Pain. I immediately responded with “it’s the same old smudge so I wiped it away” instead of “its the same old thing as yesterday. it got 9 likes. I rest my case.

    • Consider this you’re tenth like.

      “Out in the streets there is violence.” Maybe if he were a little more explicit in the chorus. Instead of “and then we’ll take it higher,” it should have been “this song is a-bout sad stuff.”

  4. You may be interested to know that the original lyrics to “Rock You” by Helix included more than the “Gimme an R, O, C, K” — they spelled out ALL the lyrics in the chorus, not just the “rock” part, to account for the average intelligence of hardcore Helix fans. But THE MAN at the record company said that was too much and they had to cut it back. Totally true.*

    * um, not really.

  5. I really appreciate you bringing this to light as I WAS ONE OF THOSE BABY’S THAT BITCH PUT ON THE TRAIN! 25 years of therapy later, I’m still not alright. I’m glad Prince dumped her ass.

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