If anyone in this house snaps, it’s best if it’s me.

Online chat I just had with Tom, we were previously discussing him working from home (it helps if you know the plot of The Shining):

me:  I’m not right in the head and I haven’t had coworkers for a while

Tom:  I have been waiting for you to chase me and the dogs through the hedge maze. Swinging Elliott* at us.

me:  I don’t have the energy. I’m a boring insane person

Tom:  Ghosts constantly nagging you to kill us all. “Eh, maybe I’ll do it later.” There’s a post there somewhere.

me:  “You want them dead so bad, you do it.”

Tom:  On the other side, you wouldn’t survive if I flipped out, because you wouldn’t make the phone call to get Scatman Caruthers, and you wouldn’t want to run around outside.**

me:  That’s true. “Eh, I’d rather die than have to make a phone call.” That’s why telepathy is such a convenient power to have, you don’t have to pick up the phone. And, I would never make it back out of that maze.***

Tom:  Also true! So, the lesson is, you need to be the one to flip out, so we all survive.

me:  And what did I do when I flipped out last night?**** I went to bed early, then couldn’t get to sleep, and then we watched VEEP. Everybody lived.

*Elliott is our jerk of a cat.

**I’m allergic to outside and also have no tolerance for weather that isn’t between 55-74 degrees.

***I have no sense of direction.

****Moving causes several breakdowns on my part. We’re at the point where I’d like to just set fire to all of our belongings (but don’t because of the previously mentioned laziness). This is not a pleasant moving phase for anyone involved.

20 thoughts on “If anyone in this house snaps, it’s best if it’s me.

  1. I first read the title as “If anyone in this house NAPS, it’s best if it’s me” and I was like “I totally feel the same way!”

    Also, I’ve stayed in Timberline lodge, the place where they shot all the exteriors. It’s not nearly as spooky as it is in the movie. Although there was a pair of twins roaming around the halls. Fortunately they were just a couple of st. bernards that lived in the hotel. Very friendly dogs.

  2. Totally off topic, but . . . how is VEEP? I haven’t gotten around to watching it yet. They filmed a bunch of it on the street that I work on, which you might think would be exciting, but all it means is that their big trailers took up the entirety of the street and reeked havoc with traffic, and I never got to see any of the actors. Sad panda.

    I think the plan of snapping and then going to bed is an excellent one. When I snap, it makes me very tired and all I wanna do is crawl into bed as well. Oh, and I’m also pretty lazy. Twinsies?? 🙂

    • When I snap, I hate myself for being irrational, and rather than embarrass myself with irrational shenanigans, I just decide to shut everything down and go to bed. Lazy twinsies!

      VEEP is pretty good. It’s definitely getting better as the season goes on. The last episode was very good, particularly since I laughed at it and was in an awful mood.

  3. I’m going to have to get a real job soon and that means co-workers and talking to them and listening to them and wearing shoes. I’ll trade places with you.

    And by that I mean setting fire to all your belongings.

  4. I just moved most of my furniture this weekend…I suggested to my partner that I would rather just burn it all than keep packing no less than a dozen times. Fortunately, he is a sane and reasonable human being and doesn’t let me do all the stupid stuff I say I want to do.

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