Online chat I just had with Tom, we were previously discussing him working from home (it helps if you know the plot of The Shining):
me: I’m not right in the head and I haven’t had coworkers for a while
Tom: I have been waiting for you to chase me and the dogs through the hedge maze. Swinging Elliott* at us.
me: I don’t have the energy. I’m a boring insane person
Tom: Ghosts constantly nagging you to kill us all. “Eh, maybe I’ll do it later.” There’s a post there somewhere.
me: “You want them dead so bad, you do it.”
Tom: On the other side, you wouldn’t survive if I flipped out, because you wouldn’t make the phone call to get Scatman Caruthers, and you wouldn’t want to run around outside.**
me: That’s true. “Eh, I’d rather die than have to make a phone call.” That’s why telepathy is such a convenient power to have, you don’t have to pick up the phone. And, I would never make it back out of that maze.***
Tom: Also true! So, the lesson is, you need to be the one to flip out, so we all survive.
me: And what did I do when I flipped out last night?**** I went to bed early, then couldn’t get to sleep, and then we watched VEEP. Everybody lived.
*Elliott is our jerk of a cat.
**I’m allergic to outside and also have no tolerance for weather that isn’t between 55-74 degrees.
***I have no sense of direction.
****Moving causes several breakdowns on my part. We’re at the point where I’d like to just set fire to all of our belongings (but don’t because of the previously mentioned laziness). This is not a pleasant moving phase for anyone involved.