But, what if you don’t have $36 for whatever the hell that thing is, and want something like it? That’s what I’m here for.
I’ve come up with two humane ways to reproduce this glorious holiday accessory for little to no money. The chinchillas and/or rats will thank you for your willingness to craft equally beautiful hair-related ornaments.
Project 1: I Just Got My Hair Cut Ornament
Supplies: 1. Lint roller 2. Hair
1. Go get your hair cut.
2. Have the following conversation with the nice lady at the salon:
You (bending down with a plastic bag): I’m taking my hair. It’s, uh, for a project.
Lady: Oh! Ok. Is it for your garden?
Pray that you do not open up a conversation about gardens and hair because you kinda heard that once but have no idea about the details of why people put hair in gardens.
3. Have the hair sit around your house in a bag on the kitchen counter because you are a big procrastinating freak.
4. Spread hair out onto a white paper towel.
5. Roll lint roller around in it.
6. Tie a piece of rope to the convenient hole in the handle.
7. Voila! You have a festive, humane ornament with goddamn hair on it, just like you always wanted.
Project 2: Celebrity “Hair” Ornament
Supplies: 1. Lint roller 2. Print out of pictures of a celebrity whose hair will work for this project. 3. Optional festive ribbon.
1. Print out your chosen picture.
2. Cut out the hair part.
3. Wrap the hair parts around the lint roller (I also used some tape to really get the look I “wanted”).
4. Add festive ribbon.
5. Voila! You now have an ornament that says “I printed out pictures of Donald Trump and stuck them onto a lint roller.”
You could also achieve the same effect with your pet’s hair if you have enough of it. Or, you could find some roadkill and attach a festive ribbon to it. However you do it, the end result will be that you didn’t spend $36 on a ball of hair, and that to me, is the very essence of what the holidays are all about.