This is how Zombie Disease is Spread

We went to some antique shops this past weekend, and I strolled past this beauty, which I would have bought in a second if it wasn’t $30:

Do not ever, ever, accept candy from a zombie. I know this is basic stuff you learn in pre-school, but it’s never too late for a reminder. Also, do not ever, ever, accept candy named “Zombies.” While they may only advertise the coconut, rum, and imitation rum (mmmm), we ALL know what the secret ingredient must be.

You know what’s extra awesome about this? I would be SAFE! Why? Because I hate coconut.

And, in case you weren’t sufficiently frightened – this was an empty tin, which means several people are already infected, or, if it was someone like me with control issues, but loved coconut, one person is already infected.

22 thoughts on “This is how Zombie Disease is Spread

  1. Is ‘imitation rum’ code word for brains? Gosh, I think I fear the combination of imitation rum and coconut more than I do zombies. Coconut is NOT the food of the gods. Nasty, nasty stuff.

  2. thank cybernetics I’m part robot and dogest crap like that.

    Many years ago. during the dark period known as my horro movie marriage, I was in the Cayman Islands and visited the Hell, the town/store. No it’s not where I got my first wife, but it’s no coincidence we ended up there.
    http://www.krolltravel.com/stories/Cayman-Hell.htm

    There’s something called Hell jelly. I refused to taste it but the person I was with, did…the rest is history.

  3. Not a fan of coconut, however, I am a fan of pina coladas. Kind of like how I don’t like tomatoes but love tomato sauce? So, depending on what the candies tasted like, I might be doomed.

    Although, it also begs the question . . . if there is rum in it, why do you need imitation rum? Is rum not rum flavored enough? Odd.

    Oh, and you totally should have tried to talk them down from that $30 price tag. You prbably could have gotten it for a steal . . . like $23 or something!

    • I don’t know, I was also worried even touching it might transmit Zombie disease.

      I also have the tomato/tomato sauce issue. I think it’s odd they advertised the imitation rum on the front of the tin. “Oh, it’s got imitation rum in it? Then pass those over, I will have one after all!”

  4. I’m safe. I think coconut tastes like tanning lotion smells, and although I like the smell, I don’t want to eat it.

    Vodka has no smell. Coincidence? I think not.

  5. Maybe we’re all looking at this the wrong way. Perhaps it is best to be one of the first zombies so you have the best selection of food sources. Like the poor bastards who get in on the pyramid scheme last, they’re aren’t any suckers left when it’s time to get your cut. Where can I get some Zombies candy?

    • I don’t know, I was afraid to touch it to examine it further. Plus it was delicately balanced on top of a fragile vase which was probably propped on a stack of old jigsaw puzzle boxes on top of a rickety table. If anything went wrong in getting it down, I’d have been out more than $30, and potentially become a zombie.

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