They are not friends, stupid shirt.

I was in a thrift store the other day looking through the t-shirts, and this one caught my eye:

What in the hell is this? Tom and Jerry best friends forever? Excuse me? Surrounded by hearts and flowers with loving smiles on their faces? Unless this shirt is from some alternate dimension (in which case I should have bought it as it might be worth something), the people that came up with this shirt either don’t know who Tom and Jerry are or they expect the young demographic to not know. Boys and girls and/or t-shirt makers: Tom the cat has been trying to kill and eat Jerry the mouse since 1940. Sure, sometimes they may reluctantly, temporarily set their differences aside to foil a dog here and there, but that doesn’t make them best friends by any stretch of the imagination. THEY DELIGHT IN CAUSING THE OTHER HARM. Delight, I tell you!

But, you know what? Maybe, for the sake of a buck, I’m willing to ignore narrative, character, and nature and embrace this foolishness. These are obviously rough drafts, they’ll need to be cleaned up by someone more talented than me, but I think the idea is there. I want my damn millions:

Just like Tom and Jerry, but in real life! I bet these two are both running to help a third friend, maybe a hippopotamus.

Actually, this isn’t far from the truth. The Walking Dead? More like The Walking FRIENDS!

Luke Skywalker and The Emperor in Star Wars were the Marty McFly and Doc Brown of space.

Buffalo Bill and Catherine Martin were total besties! BB helped Catherine with her beauty regime (lotion) and organization of beauty products (keep lotion in a basket so you always know where it is)!

The Wizard of Oz was full of friendship. But you can also make a t-shirt out of this stuff.

16 thoughts on “They are not friends, stupid shirt.

  1. No no no, you are looking at it all wrong! This is an ironic T-shirt, manufactured for hipsters to wear. See? Doesn’t make complete sense now?

    The Silence of the Lambs one is inspired. Love it.

    Still not getting resonses. Not in spam. Grrrr.

  2. This was super funny. And speaking of super, you forgot the ultimate BFF, Superman and Kryptonite! I would totally buy that shirt. And how about Samantha Stevens and Gladys Kravitz? Match made in heaven! Not to get political, but I think Mitt and Obama would look super-cute on a t-shirt with BFF on the front. Wow, you and I can be t-shirt millionaires together. I can’t wait!!!!!!!

    best,
    MOV 🙂

    • I thought about Mitt and Obama, but didn’t want to invite any opinions, which I’m allergic to right now. I love Superman and Kryptonite, he could even look ill – BFF despite the obvious health problems. Yeah, being t-shirt millionaires is gonna be pretty sweet.

  3. Ooh, I want the Silence of the lambs one. You have to be careful about clothes from another dimension. The other day I bought a suit jacket from another dimension and was temporarily turned into a lizard monster. All is well now though. But I stay on my toes. And I like flies.

  4. I cannot WAIT for the new season of the Walking Dead. I wanted to dislike this show so much, but so far, the only thing I really dislike about it is Carl.

    Also – now I’m going to have “put the lotion in the basket” in my head all day…

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