It’s amazing how one little thought, idea, or action could have seriously shortened some of my favorite movies and solved most of the characters’ problems. Examples:
I have to make 50 fliers with 50 different dogs on them, so instead of doing that I decided to use my terrible photo editing skills to make these improvements to Dead Poets Society:
So now that’s out there in the universe.
I love a good pun. Ok, so perhaps the very essence of the pun means they can’t be “good.” But, still. However, the naming-a-television-show-with-a-pun-of-the-main-characters-name has got to stop. In flipping through my Entertainment Weekly fall TV preview issue, there are two new shows with these titles:
Hart of Dixie – Rachel Bilson plays doctor Zoe Hart, who leaves NYC for a practice in Alabama.
Reed Between the Lines – Tracee Ellis Ross plays Dr. Carla Reed, a psychologist who works AND has kids, people.
Hope and Faith
Hart to Hart
Better Off Ted
Joan of Arcadia
Grace Under Fire
Sonny With a Chance
And on and on and on…
Here are my predictions for future television shows just waiting their chance at word play and ratings glory:
Itis What It Is – Jo Itis is a single mother raising three kids and juggling her juggling career and the rest of life’s hassles.
Two Birds, One Stone – Kendra and Patrick Bird are jewel thieves wrapped up in international intrigue and love for each other.
Old Hat – Gary Hat, a resident of the local retirement home, is a retired cop. Everybody bugs him for advice on cold cases. (Spin-off will be Old Adage, about a lady named Adage Adams)
Tossen Cookies – Cookie Tossen is a baker, and perpetually single. She needs a man to do it with her and some help in the kitchen! She also has a sensitive stomach.
Fall on the Sworde – A sci-fi show where the entire nation has mysteriously stopped experiencing Winter, Summer, and Spring. It’s up to scientist Harold Sworde to figure out why.
Steve All About It – Steve Hunch is the managing editor of a struggling newspaper. His life pretty much sucks.
Half and Half – Two detectives – Ronnie Half, an idealistic newbie, and Dan Waite, a grizzled and cynical dwarf – try and get along while stopping crime in the city of Atlanta. If it’s on the same network, maybe they can get occasional help from Gary Hat. And oh my God, there has already been a show called Half & Half about half sisters. It ran for four years. Crap. Potential new names for my show: Half-Pint, The Ron and Short of It, or The Waiting is the Halfest Part.
E = M.C. Squared – Twins Michael and Charlie are aspiring rappers. Their rapping duo act is called Energy. They rap at the local town square for tips and also help the locals with their various problems.
MY TV show will be called “Carried Away,” about a woman obsessed with coming up with TV show titles with puns in them.
I could do this allll day.
On our way home from seeing Contagion (why yes, I am now paranoid of getting batpig disease, why do you ask?), Tom, my husband, who was driving, busted out with this gem:
“Did we just pass a Lost Mattress sign?”
I replied that I didn’t see the sign, but oh my God, do you think it WAS a Lost Mattress sign? Because, I think, as you all are thinking, that it would be a glorious sight if it was. And, if it was, I would never forgive myself for missing the opportunity to see it.
Tom said, “It wasn’t. It couldn’t have been.”
And I said – “Are you sure?”
So, we turned around just to know.
It wasn’t. But, we had enough hope in our hearts to think that maybe it was true. Never say optimism is dead.
It was a Mattress for Sale sign. A girl can dream, though.