I previously wrote about my inability to feel much of anything for heartfelt life and love-isms that I often see shared on Facebook. I thought maybe if I took a swing at it myself it may help me walk a mile in other people’s crocs. It didn’t work out very well.
“Pump up the Jam” was inspired by PB&J sandwich with not enough jelly on it. The follow-up, “Pump up the Ham,” in response to a ham and cheese sandwich, was not as popular.
Lipps, Inc., who had the smash song “Funkytown,” wanted to spell their band name with three p’s, but it was decided that two was the better way to misspell “lips.”
Kool & the Gang’s “Celebration” states that “We’re gonna celebrate your party with you.” While this sounds like supportive fun, it was actually a separate party, celebrating the original party, on the lawn of the original party’s location house. It was really confusing. And rude.
“Morning Train (Nine to Five)” by Sheila Easton is actually a highly inappropriate song about child labor. Seriously, I can’t believe it hit number one and that nobody went to jail.
Joan Jett was kicked out of countless bars because she kept telling people to put dimes into jukeboxes that only accepted quarters.
“Chariots of Fire” has lyrics. “They run and they run, and, they run and they run. They run and they run, and, they run and they run. They run and they run, they run, they run! They run and they run! They run and they run, they run, they run! They run and they run.”
Amazingly, with all of those candles in the video for “Wrapped Around Your Finger,” Sting walked away unscathed but then later burned his mouth on a Hot Pocket.
When doves cry, they sound nothing like Prince’s song or any sounds in that song. They sound more like “Batdance,” which is why everyone hates it when doves cry.
I was on Facebook the other day, and this ad caught my eye:
So many questions filled my mind: Why does me liking The Godfather mean I would be a good substance abuse counselor? Is that sexy green-haired girl the addict or the counselor? Do I HAVE to?
I like to try and make sense of things, so I started thinking, and I guess if you consider that Vito Corleone opposed the families getting into the heroin trade, it could be marginally related to drug counseling.
Then I thought, the random pairings of movies and occupations is something I would probably be good at. Here’s a group of ads to show my ability and to announce my availability to meet all of your nonsensical film and career combination needs.
We’re going to see one of my favorite movies, Alfred Hitchcock’s Psycho, at the movie theater this evening. To commemorate the event, I’ve made up some fascinating facts about the making of the movie. Please feel free to pass them on as the truth, it will really impress friends and family.
1. Everyone knows that the blood in the shower scene was chocolate syrup. But, not everyone knows that the bathtub was made of molded ice cream. The drain was a wafer cookie. After they finished shooting the scene, the entire crew had an ice cream party.
2. 
Spencer Tracy is almost unrecognizable as Janet Leigh’s bra.
3. The score is completely a cappella.
4. When Alfred Hitchcock would get in a bad mood, the cast and crew would call him “Alfred Bitchcock.” He was a very good sport about it.
5. 
The Bates’ house up on the hill was a very small scale model. But, the interesting thing is, the model was actually a perfectly formed, detailed, piece of lint Alfred Hitchcock found in his pocket. The unkempt bushes were painstakingly created by the set designer.
Movie magic!
I had an idea for a t-shirt and it’s terribly stupid. And, even though it is horribly punny, and I should be embarrassed by the idea itself, I feel the need to point out that this is just a rough mock-up.
