Super Friends Season 2, Episode 7, Storyline B – “Runaways”
Original Airdate – December 10, 1977
Aquaman is swimming in a public pool, as he does all the time, apparently. Nearby are some kids about to play a game of baseball.
Aquaman approaches the catcher and asks him (or her, I can’t tell) if he’s going to put his catcher safety equipment on and the kid tells Aquaman that they’re in a hurry and he doesn’t have time. “There’s always time to play it safe,” Aquaman says to really wrap up this condom metaphor.
And then, in NOT A CREEPY WAY AT ALL, Aquaman joins in the fun.
“In the dark hours of early morning, two young teens are about to embark on a dangerous journey.” – Narrator
Jay and Mike are running away from home. Jay wakes up his sister when he’s sneaking out of the house. She asks him why he’s running away and, according to Jay – “We’ll be on our own, it’ll be fun! We won’t have to follow our parents’ orders any longer.” They’re headed for Central City, which everyone seems to be implying is a really crappy place to run away to.
As you all know, The Wonder Twins are always shown doing some stupid activity before they’re alerted to whatever stupid emergency they have to go help with.
This time, this is what they’re doing:
“A few more flowers and we’ll have the best float in Metropolis Day Parade.” – Zan
Screw you, Zan, Jayna, and Gleek and your parade-float-making-selves. I hate you. And why is Aquaman standing there not doing anyth-wait, nevermind, why is Wonder Woman standing there not doing anything?
Then something wonderful happens. Gleek is frightened by a bee and the whole thing is ruined.
If only the episode just ended there, it would have been my favorite Wonder Twins story. But, no, Jay’s dumb sister calls them up to let them know about those runaways.
Jay and Mike didn’t plan well.
The bus trip to Central City used up all of Jay and Mike’s money. “We gotta find a job, and a place to stay,” says Jay out loud at a seedy bus station. Yes, folks, it’s time for another “I can’t believe The Super Friends are going there” plotline, where teenagers are almost turned into sex slaves but in a Saturday-morning-cartoony kind of way.
The guys run in to a fella named Sully (what a lovely name). Sully is surely portrayed by the same creep as in “Hitchike” – he’s got that exact Jack-Nicholson-with-an additional-helping-of-sleaze-voice. Here’s a creep side-by-side comparison:
“Say fellas, I couldn’t help overhearing your conversation. I’m Sully. You’re welcome to stay at my place for the night,” Sully says in his creepiest creeptastic way. “Don’t worry about it, everything will be fiiiiine,” he further creeps. The boys reluctantly agree, and then he CREEPILY SMIRKS A CREEPY SMIRK.
Wait, it gets better.
The Wonder Twins ask the cashier if he’s seen the boys and he answers, “Sure, I remember seeing two boys, they left with a guy named Sully. Nasty one he is. Probably headed for Sully’s place now, somewhere on the far end of town.”
Back at Sully’s pad, which looks like this:
You can find this entire set, “The Creep Collection,” at Rooms To Go.
Sully says: “After you fellas rest up, I gotta little job planned for us.” The job? Knocking over a liquor store. HEY, that’s not a job in the traditional sense! Y’all, I’m starting to think this Sully isn’t a stand-up guy. Jay and Mike inform him that, no, they are not criminals and they will not be participating in this so-called “job.” Sully says that’s ok and thanks them for the company and offers to drive them home. HA, I’m just joshing, the kids try to escape and he pursues them across a rooftop.
The boys are cornered on the roof and jump down to a fire escape, which, of course, starts to give way.
Jayna turns into a giraffe so they can slide down her neck to safety.
Zan turns into “giant ice handcuffs” and is FLOWN by Gleek with his propeller tail to chase Sully.
Sully is then handcuffed by a teenage super hero in the shape of handcuffs that are made of ice.
And then Jay and Mike are returned safely and everyone’s lessons are learned and then Gleek demonstrates what this episode was:
P.S. In a crazy spell check mishap, I spelled “liquor” wrong in the post and in a picture. I’m not fixin’ the picture, so let’s all remember that liqueur is sold at liquor stores.
P.P.S. I’m posting Super Friends outtakes on the Cannibalistic Nerd Facebook page. So, if you need a mid-week Super Friends pick-me-up, that’s the place to get it.
If you would like to see these shenanigans for yourself, Season 2 is available on DVD.