Cannibalistic Nerd

This week it’s time to visit the Super Friends Magic Theater again!

Batman and Robin are here to teach us a trick, standing strangely side by side like a couple of robots:

Robin is showing us the “Mysterious Egg Trick,” and he needs a purse from the audience.

Wait, the audience? What? They’ve never had an audience before. I think this is an elaborate cover up to disguise the fact that we all know damn well that Batman and Robin own purses, I mean, “utility belts.”

“Robin tells me that he will empty the purse and then, after showing that the purse is empty, he will mysteriously find an egg in that purse.” – Batman, needing something to do, so he describes in excruciating detail exactly what we are about to see.

Actually, I found a much more interesting magic trick:

1. Robin empties the purse on to the table:

 

2. And then, when they cut to the wide shot – ALL OF HER SHIT IS GONE:

MAGIC!!!!

And, just as Batman prophesied, an egg magically appears in the purse.

How did they do it?

“Before Robin even announced the trick, he gave me an egg.” – Batman

When Batman was checking to see that the purse was empty, HE was adding the egg! Amazing.

But here’s the kicker. Robin exclaims that they better get back to the show (the actual stories where they’re supposed to be saving people and things), and then they LITERALLY DISAPPEAR.

So you’ll teach us how to place an egg in a purse but an actual cool trick isn’t on the table, just like the volunteer’s purse contents. Whatever.

Also, shouldn’t you use a boiled egg? I think that would be an important tidbit to pass on to the small children who may try this trick.  But what do I know – I can’t magically vanish into thin air THANKS TO A CERTAIN CRIME FIGHTING DUO.

If you would like to see these shenanigans for yourself, Season 2 is available on DVD.

One million years ago, I posted part one of The Lionmen.

Here’s what happened in the first half of the story in case you forgot.

….A bunch of scientists tell the Super Friends that if they “got enough of the elements needed” they could make a “negative lens” to counteract the one that Lionex is using to split the Earth in to five delicious slices.

They only have two hours, MAYBE THREE, if they can slow down Lionex’s machine. Generally, if the Super Friends have hours to do something, they usually picnic or floss their teeth until about 10 minutes before the deadline, but this time they actually do fill the two-three hours with doing stuff.

When you need to be incognita, become a giant space amoeba.

Batman laments that they won’t be able to get back on the satellite Lionex has taken over, but Jayna has a plan! The Lionmen won’t think twice about a floating giant space amoeba! I didn’t really know much about these Giant Space Amoebas, so I looked them up. Here’s one it it’s natural habitat.

Zan informs us that “space amoebas are very common in their part of the universe.” Ok, thanks, Zan. Wonder Woman likes this plan because the amoeba is large enough to conceal Zan, Gleek, and herself.

The rest of the Super Friends go out in search of rare elements.

By the way, this is the status of the Earth

Oh, yeah, that’ll slide right back into place with no real repercussions at all. No problem.

Back to the Amoeba

“We’re as close as we can get to the space station, we’ll travel inside Jayna from here.” – Wonder Woman, creating all new nightmares for us all.

I warn you, you can’t unsee this:

That right there would be the last piece left in a Whitman’s Sampler.

As predicted, the Lionmen were not worried about the lavender butt with warts space amoeba.

They all make it on board and can initiate Operation Slow Down the Lionmen’s Machine or Something.

Gleek really Gleeks up the plan.

Wonder Woman manages to capture Lionex in a soundproof room that also has the  communication system in it.

Wonder Woman uses the “Justice League Voice Duplicator” to get on the loudspeaker and tell everyone in Lionex’s voice to cease operations and turn off the Strata Ray. And it would have worked if it wasn’t for a stupid blue space monkey and his tail. He switches on the camera and everyone sees the Wonder Woman behind the curtain.

Wonder Woman is then hit with a freeze ray and Lionex orders the Strata Ray turned back on at double power. Way to go, guys!

Truth Beam

“Wonder Woman is interrogated with a truth beam and forced to reveal the plans to build an anti-lens” – Narrator

Lionex then dispatches his men to stop the Super Friends from finding the rare elements.

Sorry, guys.

Everyone defeats their Lionmen and then there’s a scene that looks like Superman is going to return some kittens to the pet store because Batman, Robin, and Aquaman aren’t ready for the responsibility.

There’s a lot of discussing the plans – Superman is going to turn the Lionmen into the authorities and then visit the scientists to get the anti-lens and the others are going to the space station to turn of the kryptonite force field. It’s not the most exciting of scenes, but it is nice to actually see them try and coordinate and plan every once in awhile.

Or, you could…

Back at the space station, Lionex is petrifying Wonder Woman in some sort of contraption and promises to display her in a museum back home. He leaves the room and The Wonder Twins hatch a plan to save her.

 

And it’s nicely wrapped up like some superheroes in a giant space amoeba.

Superman makes it to the space station with minutes to spare, plugs in the anti-lens, and it magically puts the Earth back together like it hadn’t been completely ripped apart.

Wait, as far as I could tell, they gave Lionex a lecture and then sent him on his merry way back to his galaxy. Say what? I guess they couldn’t stand to see that fabulous head of hair behind bars.

If you would like to see these shenanigans for yourself, Season 2 is available on DVD.