I’m Such a Rebel

This weekend, Tom and I went to an antiques store. It was huge – old stuff as far as the eye could see. I don’t like to look at old stuff with a full bladder so I sought out the bathroom. As soon as I opened the door, I was greeted with this cheery message:

Dire Warning

“OH YEAH, just watch me flush the toilet after my use,” I thought to myself. What can I say, I’ve always been a bit of a rebel.

There were two stalls. In one stall some square had dutifully done what THE MAN told her to do – not flush. I rolled my eyes at such blind compliance to the arbitrary rules of antiques store society.

I used the other stall, and with the defiance of a thousand James Deans and Marlon Brandos, I flushed that toilet.

I washed my hands thoroughly, held my head high and swaggered out of the bathroom, expecting to be dragged away by the antique store authorities. But, no one was there. I had gotten away with it! What a rush!

People, you gotta live by your own rules if you really want to live.

I didn’t write on the walls though, that would be rude.

P.S. I’m starting to become disturbed about how often I write about public restrooms.

20 thoughts on “I’m Such a Rebel

  1. Such flagrant disregard for the posted rules! Maybe they need their customers’ leavings because of an ancient curse on one of their antiques that makes it so any flushing in the establishment will result in excrement oozing from the walls. Or that might just be a plumbing issue.

  2. As the owner of an antique (ok, junk) store, I can tell you that flagrantly defying a well thought out bathroom sign can cause a person to write repeatedly about their public bathroom experiences.

  3. HA! I wonder if anyone ever clued them into this grammar faux pas… And then I kind of wonder how many people take the sign absolutely literally. Like, did the previous inhabitant not flush because she really thought those were the intended directions?

  4. There is a sign in my office bathroom that says something like, “Did you check yourself, ladies? Please do so.” They used to be on every stall and the paper towel dispenser and the door. I removed all the ones except the door one. They were so ridiculous and offensive. But now I just laugh every time I leave the bathroom. It is just so wrong.

    You are such a rebel. In honor of your rebelliousness, I am gonna flush every time I go to an antique shop from now on. Booyah!!

    • wait what… what are we supposed to be checking for?

      tp stuck on our shoes?
      fly zipped?
      quick breast cancer screening?

      I seriously want to know.

        • Um…no. I can’t really think of a single thing that happens in the bathroom which would require a reminder for me to check. Because really, if you need a reminder then there are some serious problems.

          • The other signs inside the stalls were more detailed. Something to the effect of, “your momma don’t clean these bathrooms, so check the seats before you leave. Don’t make a mess.” You get the picture. Imagine someone saying it very Mmm-hmm, two snaps up sassy, and you will get the drift. It was truly ridiculous and horrifying. Yeah.

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