Five Minute Movies 5

It’s amazing how one little thought, idea, or action could have seriously shortened some of my favorite movies or solved most of the characters’ problems. Examples:

Marathon Man:

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory:

National Lampoon’s Vacation:

Arachnophobia:

House on Haunted Hill:

27 thoughts on “Five Minute Movies 5

  1. I love the National Lampoon one, only because I love all those movies. Calling ahead would have helped, but then they wouldn’t have been able to tie a dead woman in a rocking chair to the top of their car, and really, what kind of vacation is that if that can’t happen?

  2. Those are so awesome! I just watched House on Haunted Hill last month because it was on Netflix. I LOVED the Vincent Price movies when I was a kid and cut my horror teeth on all the classic Price/Corman movies. But watching them again, OMG. SO. BAD. So deliciously awful!
    Now if I can only find Wrestling Women vs The Aztec Mummy. Even back then I thought it was awful. I’ll bet it’s a riot now!

    • I watched House on Haunted Hill a couple of weeks ago on Netflix for the first time. I thought the creepy blind ghost/maid lady was really effective but the skeleton puppet didn’t work in this day and age. However, I liked the movie – it was one of those plots where you’re like “suuuurree…” but I certainly wasn’t bored.

  3. Lol, yes, the crux of many movie plots is a bad decision. This has always driven me nuts- but when I think about all the dumb stuff I do on the regular, and the resulting chaos, I realize these type of plots are not so farfetched.

  4. But if he bought real food, then he wouldn’t end up running the chocolate factory and having all the money. But then again, certain children might not have become blueberries or floated away and such, so maybe it is a safer option. Ooh, but he never would have met the Oompa Loompas! Nope, buy they candy, Charlie. Do it!

    • Yeah, I thought about that – it was best for him to have bought the chocolate for sure – he’s now a candy millionaire. And I would have also most likely bought some chocolate in the same position. But it WOULD have really shortened the movie.

  5. The fact that they didn’t call Wally World always bothered me. Of course, people were a lot lazier before the Internet. And I once drove an hour to a tradeshow… that was the next day. Not a lot of room to talk.

  6. I was my daughter’s age, 16, when I saw Vacation the first time. I remember saying to my friends, “dude, this is dumb. My dad doesn’t leave the house for burgers without calling to see if they’re open”.

    Here’s one:

    Serpico: “Hey, look, I’m gonna go get a coffee and a doughnut while you guys take your bribes. I didn’t see nothin'”.

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