1979 Sears Wishbook – Silky PJs for your disco key swapping parties.

I was looking around wishbookweb.com, which I love to do a disturbing amount, and decided to flip through the 1979 Sears Wishbook. Here’s some of the things I found:

Orgy Matching PJs
I don’t care how innocent and out-of-the-gutter your mind is, there’s no way you see this picture of two couples in matching-but-different-color silk pajamas and NOT assume they are all going to have sex together.

 

 

 

 

 

Bully and Victim

Don’t these two look like the nerdy hero lead of a 1980s movie and his bully? If only both of them knew when they get home from school they put on the same robe, maybe that’d change everything.

 

 

 

 

 

Check out this super creepy Santa:

Creepy Santa

Did people seriously wear “Twas the Night Before Christmas” nightcaps even in the late 1970s?

Nightcaps

Flattering

In most of the menswear pictures, the guys all have one of their hands clenched like they’re holding something. My theory is that they’re cyanide pills and that no male models made it out of the photoshoot alive.

Cyanide Pills

Did you think Snuggies were something new? You were so wrong.

They are LITERALLY wearing their ugly-ass comforters. They have snaps that "envelop" you in a horrible 70s comforter blob monster.

They are LITERALLY wearing their ugly-ass comforters. They have snaps that “envelop” you in a horrible 70s comforter blob monster.

Sears casual clothes make you so casual, you will only seem mildly amused that you are being approached by a giant crotch.

Sears casual clothes make you so casual, you will only be mildly amused that you are being approached by a giant crotch.

Hey, kids, what do you think of Winnie the Pooh?!

Hate Winnie the Pooh

And, lastly, on a VERY serious note – PLEASE SOMEONE FIND ME EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THESE WALL CLOCKS:

Wall Clocks

46 thoughts on “1979 Sears Wishbook – Silky PJs for your disco key swapping parties.

  1. Why are the men wearing dresses in that one? Was it the TransvestiteWishBook? Because those are some shapely masculine legs there.

    “I fucking hate Winnie the Pooh” made me actually laugh out loud. That’s right, a real live LOL in its natural habitat.

    I’m on the lookout for those clocks.

  2. Ahhh the ’79 wishbook… cuh-lassic! By the way, I asked for EVERY SINGLE pair of pajamas on page 20. I got the Star Wars robe instead. I’ll refer you to everything Jim Gaffigan ever said about wearing robes and say that they’re totally true. That poor robe saw more vomit splatters and toilet water dunking than any piece of clothing should ever be subjected to.

  3. I don’t ever want to feel so casual that I’m only *slightly* amused by a giant crotch, especially a polyester one. If that sucker catches on fire, it ain’t gonna be pretty.

  4. Holy potato sacks and Gumby pants, Batman! What the camel hump is going on here?! I think I may have just peed my pants a little, but I’m too busy laughing to check. It’s the giant crotch’s fault.

    What is up with the guys holding those pills? It almost looks as if, instead of “cheese”, the photographer told them to say, “I really like these pajamas!” while acting like a pirate.

  5. The Winnie the Pooh photo is the best thing on the internet today, and I laughed out loud at work and pretended I was sneezing. I have a cold, I think they bought it.

    I want to know why the “Deluxe Mountain Fir” is $10 more when it looks all ratty. That’s confusing.

    Also, the Cyanide Triplets are SO HAPPY they’re about to die. SO SO HAPPY.

  6. the faces on every adult in these ads… they remind me of the wistful look on Steve Carrel’s face on the 40 Year Old Virgin DVD box cover. Classy.

  7. The guys in the nighties are happy because, even though they are going to die soon, at least their jammies will be wrinkle-free. Perma-Prest Flannel for the win.

  8. I just thought that everyone in the ’70s had really flat asses. Because it’s so hard for me to imagine why you’d voluntarily wear pants that do that to your butt.

  9. Ok, let me try this again. Just tried to comment that this was hilarious and as I sit here unable to sleep at 3 something in the morning with half anxiety/half tummy ache this made me feel like maybe my day wouldn’t suck.

    Then half way through typing Windows shut down my computer for an update.

    *sigh*

  10. I had that Spiderman wall clock, christmas, 1980, I think. I would ask my mom, but I’m afraid she’d tell me I wore those pajamas as a kid.

    A few years ago, I saw clips of this documentary they made about Plato’s Retreat, the 1970s swingers club in New York. Most of the creeps and freaks in that documentary were wearing those robes. *shudder*

  11. The things that gets me about the models in all those pictures is that they probably all know they are wearing huge fire hazards on their bodies, yet they’re being forced to smile against their will. It makes me sad.

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